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Gypsy
Smith (1860-1947)
His
Life and Work
By Himself
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We were travelling in Hertfordshire.
The oldest of the family, a girl, was taken ill. The nearest town was Baldock,
and my father at once made for it, so that he might get a doctor for his child.
I remember as if it were yesterday that the gipsy waggon stood outside the door
of the doctor's house. My father told him he had a sick daughter. The doctor
mounted the steps of the waggon and, leaning over the door, called my sick sister
to him and examined her. He did not enter our poor waggon. We were only gipsies.
"Your daughter has the small-pox," he said to my father, "you
must get out of the town at once." He sent us to a bye-lane about one-and-a-half
miles away - it is called Norton Lane. In a little bend of this lane, on the
left-hand side, between a huge overhanging hawthorn and a wood on the right-hand
side, making a natural arch, father erected our tent. There he left mother and
four children. He took the waggon two hundred yards farther down the lane, and
stood it on the right-hand side near an old chalkpit. From the door he could
see the tent clearly and be within call. The waggon was the sick-room and my
father was the nurse. In a few days the doctor, coming to the tent, discovered
that my brother Ezekiel also had the small-pox, and he too was sent to the waggon,
so that my father had now two invalids to nurse. Poor mother used to wander
up and down the lane in an almost distracted condition, and my father heard
her cry again and again: "My poor children will die, and I am not allowed
to go to them!" Mother had to go into Baldock to buy food, and, after preparing
it in the tent, carried it half-way from there to the waggon. Then she put it
on the ground and waited till my father came for it. She shouted or waved her
silk handkerchief to attract his attention. Sometimes he came at once, but at
other times he would be busy with the invalids and unable to leave them just
at the moment. And then mother went back, leaving the food on the ground, and
sometimes before father had reached it, it was covered with snow, for it was
the month of March and the weather was severe. And mother, in the anxiety of
her loving heart, got every day, I think, a little nearer and nearer to the
waggon, until one day she went too near, and then she also fell sick. When the
doctor came he said it was the small-pox.
My father was in the uttermost distress. His worst fears were realised. He had
hoped to save mother, for he loved her as only a gipsy can love. She was the
wife of his youth and the mother of his children. They were both very young
when they married, not much over twenty, and they were still very young. He
would have died to save her. He had struggled with his calamities bravely for
a whole month, nursing his two first-born with whole-hearted love and devotion,
and had never had his clothes off, day or night And this he had done in order
to save her from the terrible disease. And now she too was smitten. He felt
that all hope was gone, and knowing he could not keep us separate any longer,
he brought the waggon back to the tent. And there lay mother and sister and
brother, all three sick with small-pox. In two or three days a little baby was
born.
Mother knew she was dying. Our hands were stretched out to hold her, but they
were not strong enough. Other hands, omnipotent and eternal, were taking her
from us. Father seemed to realise, too, that she was going. He sat beside her
one day and asked her if she thought of God. For the poor gipsies believe in
God, and believe that He is good and merciful. And she said, "Yes."
"Do you try to pray, my dear?"
"Yes, I am trying, and while I am trying to pray it seems as though a black
hand comes before me and shows me all that I have done, and something whispers,
'There is no mercy for you!'"
But my father had great assurance that God would forgive her, and told her about
Christ and asked her to look to Him. He died for sinners. He was her Saviour.
My father had some time before been in prison for three months on a false charge,
and it was there that he had been told what now he tried to teach my mother.
After my father had told her all he knew of the Gospel she threw her arms around
his neck and kissed him. Then he went outside, stood behind the waggon, and
wept bitterly. When he went back again to see her she looked calmly into his
face, and said with a smile: "I want you to promise me one thing. Will
you be a good father to my children?" He promised her that he would; at
that moment he would have promised her anything. Again he went outside and wept,
and while he was weeping he heard her sing -
"I have a Father in the promised land.
My God calls me, I must go
To meet Him in the promised land."
My father went back to her and said: "Polly, my clear, where did you learn
that song?"
She said: "Cornelius, I heard it when I was a little girl. One Sunday my
father's tents were pitched on a village green, and seeing the young people
and others going into a little school or church or chapel - I do not know which
it was - I followed them in and they sang those words."
It must have been twenty years or so since my mother had heard the lines. Although
she had forgotten them all these years, they came back to her in her moments
of intense seeking after God and His salvation. She could not read the Bible,
she had never been taught about God and His Son, but these words came back to
her in her dying moments and she sang them again and again. Turning to my father,
she said, "I am not afraid to die now. I feel that it will be all right.
I feel assured that God will take care of my children."
Father watched her all that Sunday night, and knew she was sinking fast. When
Monday morning dawned it found her deep in prayer. I shall never forget that
morning. I was only a little fellow, but even now I can close my eyes and see
the gipsy tent and waggon in the lane. The fire is burning outside on the ground,
and the kettle is hanging over it in true gipsy fashion, and a bucket of water
is standing near by. Some clothes that my father has been washing are hanging
on the hedge. I can see the old horse grazing along the lane. I can see the
boughs bending in the breeze and I can almost hear the singing of the birds,
and yet when I try to call back the appearance of my dear mother I am baffled.
That dear face that bent over my gipsy cradle and sang lullabies to me, that
mother who if she had lived would have been more to me than any other in God's
world - her face has faded clean from my memory. I wandered up the lane that
morning with the hand of my sister Tilly in mine. We two little things were
inseparable. We could not go to father, for he was too full of his grief. The
others were sick. We two had gone off together, when suddenly I heard my name
called: "Rodney!" and running to see what I was wanted for, I encountered
my sister Emily. She had got out of bed, for bed could not hold her that morning,
and she said to me, "Rodney, mother's dead!" I remember falling on
my face in the lane as though I had been shot, and weeping my heart out and
saying to myself, "I shall never be like other boys, for I have no mother!"
And somehow that feeling has never quite left me, and even now, in my man's
life, there are moments when mother is longed for.
My mother's death caused a gloom indescribable to settle down upon the tent
life. The day of the funeral came. My mother was to be buried at the dead of
night. We were only gipsies, and the Authorities would not permit the funeral
to take place in the daytime. In the afternoon the coffin was placed on two
chairs outside the waggon, waiting for the darkness. Sister and brother were
so much better that the waggon had been emptied. My father had been trying to
cleanse it, and the clothes, such as we had for wearing and sleeping in, had
been put into the tent. While we were watching and weeping round the coffin
- father and his five children - the tent caught fire, and all our little stock
of worldly possessions was burnt to ashes. The sparks flew around us on all
sides of the coffin, and we expected every moment that that too would be set
on fire. We poor little things were terrified nearly to death. "Mother
will be burnt up," we wept. "Mother will be burnt up." Father
fell upon his face on the grass crying like a child. The flames were so strong
that he could do nothing to stop their progress, and indeed he had to take great
care to avoid harm to himself. Our agonies while we were witnessing this, to
us, terrible conflagration, helpless to battle against it, may easily be imagined,
but, strange to relate, while the sparks fell all around the coffin, the coffin
itself was untouched.
And now darkness fell, and with it came to us an old farmer's cart. Mother's
coffin was placed in the vehicle, and between ten and eleven o'clock my father,
the only mourner, followed her to the grave by a lantern light. She lies resting
in Norton churchyard, near Baldock. When my father came back to us it was midnight,
and his grief was very great. He went into a plantation behind his van, and
throwing himself on his face, promised God to be good, to take care of his children,
and to keep the promise that he had made to his wife. A fortnight after the
little baby died and was placed at her mother's side. If you go to Norton churchyard
now and inquire for the gipsies' graves they will be pointed out to you. My
mother and her last born lie side by side in that portion of the graveyard where
are interred the remains of the poor, the unknown, and the forsaken.
We remained in that fatal lane a few weeks 'longer; then the doctor gave us
leave to move on, all danger being over. So we took farewell of the place where
we had seen so much sorrow.
I venture to think that there are some points of deep spiritual significance
in this narrative. First of all, there is the sweet and touching beauty of my
father's endeavour to show my mother, in the midst of his and her ignorance,
the way of salvation as far as he was able. My dear father tried to teach her
of God. Looking back on that hour he can see clearly in it the hand of God.
When he was in prison as a lad, many years before, he heard the Gospel faithfully
preached by the chaplain. The sermon had been on the text, "I am the Good
Shepherd, and know My sheep, and am known of Mine." My father was deeply
distressed and cried to God to save him, and had there been any one to show
him the way of salvation he would assuredly have found peace then.
At the time of my mother's death too my father was under deep conviction, but
there was no light. He could not read, none of his friends could read, and there
was no one to whom he could go for instruction and guidance. The actual date
of his conversion was some time after this, but my father is convinced, that
if he had been shown the way of salvation he would have there and then surrendered
his life to God.
Another significant point was this: what was it that brought back to my mother'
s mind in her last hour the lines -
"I have a Father in
the promised land.
My God calls me, I must go
To meet Him in the promised land"?
Was it not the Holy Ghost, of whom Christ
said, "But the Comforter, which is the Holy Ghost, whom the Father will send
in My name, He shall teach you all things, and bring all things to your remembrance,
whatsoever I have said unto you"? (John xiv. 26). My mother had lived in
a religious darkness that was all but unbroken during her whole life, but a ray
of light had crept into her soul when she was a little girl, by the singing of
this hymn. That was a part of the true light which lighteth every man that cometh
into the world. No minister ever looked near our gipsy-tent, no missioner, no
Christian worker. To me it is plain that it was the Holy Ghost who brought these
things to her remembrance - as plain as the sun that shines, or the flowers that
bloom, or the birds that sing. That little child's song, heard by my mother as
she wandered into that little chapel that Sunday afternoon, was brought back to
her by the Spirit of God and became a ladder by which she climbed from her ignorance
and superstition to the light of God and the many mansions. And my mother is there,
and although I cannot recall her face, I shall know it some day.
I became conscious after my mother's death that I was a real boy, and that I had
lost something which I should never find. Many a day when I have seen my aunts
making a great deal of their children, giving them advice and even thrashing them,
I have cried for my mother--if it were only to thrash me! It tore my hungry little
heart with anguish to stand by and see my cousins made a fuss of. At such times
I have had hard work to hide my bitter tears. I have gone up the lane round the
corner, or into the field or wood to weep my heart out. In these days, my dreams,
longings, and passions frightened me. I would lie awake all night exploring depths
in my own being that I but faintly understood, and thinking of my mother. I knew
that she had gone beyond the clouds, because my father told me so, and I believed
everything that my father told me. I knew he spoke the truth. I used to try to
pierce the clouds, and oftentimes I fancied I succeeded, and used to have long
talks with my mother, and I often told her that some day I was coming up to her.
One day I went to visit her grave in Norton churchyard. As may be imagined, that
quiet spot in the lonely churchyard was sacred to my father and to us, and we
came more often to that place than we should have done had it not been that there
in the cold earth lay hidden from us a treasure that gold could not buy back.
I shall never forget my first visit to that hallowed spot. Our tent was pitched
three miles off. My sister Tilly and I - very little things we were - wandered
off one day in search of mother's grave. It was early in the morning when we started.
We wandered through fields, jumped two or three ditches, and those we could not
jump we waded through. The spire of Norton church was our guiding star. We set
our course by it. When we reached the churchyard we went to some little cottages
that stood beside it, knocked at the doors and asked the people if they could
tell us which was mother's grave. We did not think it necessary to say who mother
was or who we were. There was but one mother in the world for us. The good people
were very kind to us. They wept quiet, gentle tears for the poor gipsy children,
because they knew at once from our faces and our clothes that we were gipsies,
and they knew what manner of death our mother had died. The grave was pointed
out to us. When we found it, Tilly and I stood over it weeping for a long time,
and then we gathered primrose and violet roots and planted them on the top. And
we stood there long into the afternoon. The women from the cottages gave us food,
and then it started to our memory that it was late, and that father would be wondering
where we were. So I said, "Tilly, we must go home," and we both got
on our knees beside the grave and kissed it. Then we turned our backs upon it
and walked away. When we reached the gates that lead out of the churchyard we
looked back again, and I said to Tilly, "I wonder whether we can do anything
for mother?" I suddenly remembered that I had with me a gold-headed scarf-pin
which some one had given me. It was the only thing of any value that I ever had
as a child. Rushing back to the grave, upon the impulse and inspiration of the
moment, I stuck the scarf-pin into the ground as far as I could, and hurrying
back to Tilly, I said, "There, I have given my gold pin to my mother!"
It was all I had to give. Then we went home to the tents and waggons. Father had
missed us and had become very anxious. When he saw us he was glad and also very
angry, intending, no doubt, to punish us for going away without telling him, and
for staying away too long. He asked us where we had been. We said we had gone
to mother's grave, Without a word he turned away and wept bitterly.
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